Category Archives: Agency

From: Learning, Loss, and Love – A Memoir and a Tool Kit

This entry was posted in Activism, Agency, Attachment Challenges, Barack Obama, Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, Jill Stein, Marion Woodman, Patriarchy, Robert Bly on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

One of the most healing tools we have at our disposal is our ability to tell our stories through art.  Some of us dance the pain out of our bodies and psyches, some of us paint, and some of us write.  While I have done all three, my most consistent mode of expression  is what I think of as “telling.”  My telling involves my journal and my keyboard and a long and tender commitment to becoming whole by embracing all my broken places.  As I’ve watched this current election contest spin out of control, my personal work has led me to see this election in the same archetypal terms that have helped me to understand my personal family dynamic.  Donald Trump, in my scheme of things, represents full blown patriarchy, a system that both knowingly and unconsciously exploits and “conquers” groups perceived as outsiders.  In our day, these groups include women, all people of colour, the GBLTQ community, people in poverty, and anyone who worships differently from the fundamentalist Christian faith designed by white patriarchs to keep these groups in physical shame and spiritual distress.

Because of my early childhood trauma, I came to address patriarchy full on when I was in my thirties and forties.  I understood I had to undertake this task in order to heal from my personal father wound and a lingering sense of victimization.  My father left me as a baby, my inner story went, and no one was there to “keep me safe, give me a name I could be proud of, teach me what it meant to be a woman . . . ,” and on and on.  Formal therapy, undertaken because of a terrifying depression that took hold of me after I had achieved a major goal and was living my dream, helped me to find the context in which patriarchy played out in my personal life and in the larger world.

Hillary Clinton, as the Democratic nominee for President of the US, is and will continue to call out of all the dark places patriarchy’s last rampages.  When we do our personal work, this contest takes on mythic proportions.  No matter whether we are for Trump, for Clinton, for Stein, or continuing to cling to Sanders as our “saviour,” these current unsettling political times bring forward the personal work we must do regarding our personal belief systems.  Do our beliefs shore up the status quo?  Do they energize woman hatred in subtle ways?  Do they continually play the race card?  Whatever we feel and think politically sheds light on the personal work we are invited to do.  If we do this work well – by examining and deconstructing our skewed beliefs – we will elect the most competent and experienced candidate; if we don’t, we’ll vote in reaction to our darkest fears and hatred.

With Barack Obama’s election came a wave of overt racism, the likes of which we have not seen since the fifties and sixties.  In like manner, we will no doubt see overt misogyny rise to the surface now that Clinton has secured the Democratic Party nomination.  There are signs, however, that patriarchy is crumbling.  Fox News has replaced Roger Ailes, a man who consistently behaved as Archetypal Patriarch, contaminating the work place with degrading requests and views of women and other groups even as he gave Donald Trump a platform from which to spread fear and disinformation.

Happily, as Dylan sings, these times they are a changing.  Eight years ago, Barack Obama reminded us, despite the obvious failings of an imperfect democratic system, we have reason to hope.  And now, Hillary Clinton has stepped forward as our lightning rod.  She took on the woman haters in 2008 and she takes them on now, with the difference that she is not taking them on alone.  In the interim many of us have worked through a lot of our unconscious prejudices, largely because we could see Barack Obama move through the racist wall of hate with such amazing courage, intelligence, and grace.  Now we get to watch Hillary Clinton do the same. What a privilege to be alive today, and to participate in our evolution out of patriarchy and into maturity, kindness, intelligence, and wisdom, these qualities creating an intersection of all empowered peoples.

If you are curious about what catalyzed my healing perspective regarding what I perceived as patriarchy’s out-sized privilege, please click the link below to read an excerpt from Learning, Loss, and Love, my unpublished memoir.

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Seasonal Blues – The Cultural Connection

This entry was posted in Agency, Aging, Assertive Language, Authenticity, Courage, Daily EFT Practice, Depression, Empowerment on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the ACEP website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

This time of year, many of us feel the anguish of being alone, not because our solitude is painful or undesirable or the result of accident rather than choice, but because our materialistic, ad-driven culture emphasizes family connections in its hard-sell of goods that bespeak waste, environmental degradation, and the conflation of need and desire.  Linking these goods to a return of Light is an irony hard to miss.  The altruism of giving, something naturally linked to the celebratory feelings of Illumination and Rebirth, is nowhere more evident than it is at this time of year despite the commercialization of our lives.  Tapping can help to calm our frustration and helplessness in the face of rampant consumerism and at the same time help us to feel connected to the energies of Regeneration that are so potent as we begin our slow journey into
Winter.

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Creating a Partnership Culture

This entry was posted in Activism, Agency, Education, EFT, Empowerment, Partnership Culture, Riane Eisler, Tapping, The Chalice and The Blade on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the ACEP website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

When Riane Eisler’s The Chalice and The Blade was first published almost thirty years ago, the feminist revolution had already taken hold of many of Earth’s Sixties Children and imbued us with optimism concerning our ability to create a socially just world.  Cynics called our vision ridiculous as they made passionate arguments about innate human violence and stupidity.  But those of us schooled in Eisler’s Chalice vision felt called to forge a new way of being in the world, something she called The Partnership Way.  Partnerships, she illustrated vividly, were the antidote to the Dominator model we call patriarchy (learn more about Eisler’s Partnership Way studies at http://www.partnershipway.org/.)  Power With rather than Power Over became our focus, and no matter our backgrounds and talents, we took this model to our homes, to our workplaces, and to our streets.  Since first reading Chalice, I have countless times experienced the transforming powers of a Partnership focus; in my home, in my classrooms, in my workshops, and in my coaching sessions, I have found partnering with others brings the deepest satisfaction and the most exciting results.  Tapping has increased my insights into the value of a Partnership focus, since this tool supports my first and foremost partnership, the one I have with myself.

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Learning to Love Your Feet

This entry was posted in Agency, Aging, Being Mortal, Body Awareness and Love, Born to Run, Chi Running, EFT, Empowerment, Miranda Esmonde-White, podophobia, Tapping on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the ACEP website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

When my grandmother was in her late eighties and her annual appointment with our family doctor loomed, she always made sure she was wearing slip-on shoes, the easier to display her feet and so begin their conversation about her current state of well being and quality of life.  Taking care of our feet through exercise and bodymind health practices is paramount if we want to be as autonomous as possible as we age.  In spite of the vital importance of foot care, I’ve met many people who hate their feet, don’t like to touch them, and cram them into shoes that do not fit because they believe style is more important than foot mobility and comfort.  We may be able to get away with a little foot abuse when we are young, but as we age, our feet become more and more important to our overall well being.  Tapping to overcome our feet prejudices and even podophobia, an intense fear of feet, helps us to positively relate to our feet and increase our well being as we age.

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Positive Psychology and Tapping

This entry was posted in Ageism, Agency, Flourish, Positive Psychology, Tapping on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

Martin Seligman’s latest book, Flourish:  A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well Being, describes exciting scientific evidence proving our ability to replace negative beliefs and thoughts with those that support well being.  You can experience Seligman’s enthusiasm for Positive Psychology first hand at:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e0LbwEVnfJA.    Those of us who have been using tapping as a means of daily self regulation know that the benefits of replacing negative beliefs and thoughts  with positive ones include joy and optimism; we have also discovered that joy and optimism contribute to our overall sense of well being while increasing our store of resilience.  Tapping builds what in Seligman’s Positive Psychology theory are measurable aspects of well being:  positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning, and achievement (PERMA).  Using the positive psychology exercises along with tapping strength our ability to live with resourcefulness, enthusiasm, kindness, and hope.

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How Tapping Contributes to World Peace

This entry was posted in Activism, Agency, Buildinging Peace, International Day of Peace, Personal Peace Procedure on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

This Monday, September 21, people in every country in the world are gathering to celebrate the possibility of world peace on the International Day of Peace.  With us since 2001, you can learn more about this inspirational movement and its founder, Jeremy Gilley, at http://www.peaceoneday.org/.  Groups of all descriptions are celebrating a world at peace with community events, religious services, and school programs.  A response to the international peace movement very close to my heart because it reflects the peaceful intentions of my long-time, world-wide circle dancing tribe can be seen on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IN51HpIa2ek .  Watching this video brings serenity to the heart and optimism to the soul.  Like circle dancing, tapping helps us to bring peace to all we do.

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Transforming Ageist Thinking

This entry was posted in Ageism, Agency, Aging, Assertiveness, Mario Martinez, The Mind-Body Code on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

We hear a version of the following every day:  “I’m too old to change . . . to begin something new . . . to pursue a treasured dream.”    The words may be ours, but our beliefs about aging are very much rooted in family and cultural beliefs.  The over-the-hill syndrome is as toxic as any sexist remark and the sooner we relieve ourselves of the burden of belief in an inevitably medicalized old age, the happier and more productive and satisfied we’ll be.  How do we age joyfully, energetically, passionately, courageously?  Daily tapping can revolutionize our attitudes to aging, and, with psychologist Mario Martinez’s supportive research, help us to see ourselves as potentially successful centenarians instead of customers for adult diapers at seventy or eighty.

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Still Alice: A Look at Alzheimer’s Disease from the Inside

This entry was posted in Activism, Ageism, Agency, Aging, Alzheimer's, Grieving on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

At the heart of the film Still Alice is Julianne Moore’s portrayal of early onset Alzheimer’s Disease.  Told from the Linguistics Professor’s point of view, we see the world shrink and distort for her, as if she has boarded a tiny boat and is suddenly in the middle of the Atlantic.  It is a terrifying story and an important one, not only because it explores the ravages of personhood that is Alzheimer’s, but also because it allows us to imagine the tremendous loss family members and friends bear in watching this wasting disease erode the loving, competent, insightful, and forgiving person they once knew.  One thing I take issue with is the fictional story’s overworked irony of a linguistics professor losing her words; the true story of such a condition may be found in the film Iris, a biographical film acted with ravaging truth by Judi Dench, Kate Winslet, and Jim Broadbent about the life and intellectual disintegration of Iris Murdoch, celebrated Irish philosophical novelist.  This disease is horrifying because it robs its sufferers of the competence developed over a lifetime – whether one stays home with children, rises up the corporate ladder, makes one’s mark as an academic, or sells cars.  Alzheimer’s robs its sufferers of meaning:  how to use toothpaste . . . how to follow directions . . . how to find the way home from a familiar location and, eventually, . . . how to find the very meaning of home.

My husband and I touched hands frequently as we watched this film together.  We both wept for the imaginary Alice and for the fraying of family life the disease causes.  At the end, we remained seated, our fingers touching, our eyes moist.  It is a mature person’s film and a young person’s film; it has a heart and a soul that is deep and tender because it expands our understanding of what it is to care for someone who is losing the self to this condition we call Alzheimer’s as well as our understanding of the person who is losing the self.

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After Sexual Assault

This entry was posted in Activism, Agency, PTSD, Sacredness, Shame, Speaking our Truth, Trauma, Trust, vulnerability, Worthiness on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

Of all the challenges I deal with personally and professionally, none requires more sensitivity than sexual assault.  For most survivors just saying the term, or the more common word, rape, sets in motion a physiological chain reaction that often feels like someone’s fingers are probing around in our guts.  In survivors, this subject can trigger feelings of threat, of vulnerability, of shame, and – at the same time – of agency, of empowerment, and of triumph.  We can be terrified and in one and the same moment have the courage to speak out in order to honour our determination to heal and to support others in their healing.  We can rage against those who would blame us for the criminal acts of others and at the same time be calm enough to speak our truth, end the silence around these vicious crimes, and create community with others who feel vulnerable and ashamed and at the same time empowered to speak out against sexual predation and its coverups.

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Tapping and Malala

This entry was posted in Activism, Agency, Inspiration, Malala Yousafzai, Tapping on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website only and is in no way meant to replace experience with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

This month the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Malala Yousafzai and Kailash Satyarthi for their separate efforts to increase educational opportunities for children.  While Kailash Satyarthi is a veteran social-justice worker in India, Malala Yousafzai is relatively new to the advocacy scene.  At seventeen Malala is the youngest Nobel Laureate, remarkable in itself, but far more remarkable since she was shot by terrorists at twelve for the crime of not only attending school but also advocating for other girls to have this right.  In her physical recovery and her writing debut, I Am Malala, this young woman reveals a tenacity of purpose and vision that is inspirational for everyone.  Tapping while holding this young woman’s image and work in our consciousness adds power to this inspiration and fuel to our own commitments.

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