Category Archives: Grieving

Loss and Pain

This entry was posted in Aging, Anger, Authenticity, Blessing with Tapping, EFT, Grieving, Loss on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

In the northern hemisphere as we enter the ninth month of the year themes of loss abound.  Although at this point the changes in colour are subtle, we know in our bones that slowly but surely we are losing our connection to the Earth’s green mantle, the vibrant quilting of plants, shrubs, and trees that makes us feel good to be alive whenever we take a walk down a treed street or set off for a taste of the wild on hikes in the woods.  The season of autumn, so poetically called fall, impacts us in profound ways because it mirrors the many personal, community, and world losses we are experiencing each day.  EFT, when used as a daily comfort tool, can help us to navigate the transition into this season of loss by helping us to lessen the physical and emotional pain that often accompanies this change in the seasons.

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Still Alice: A Look at Alzheimer’s Disease from the Inside

This entry was posted in Activism, Ageism, Agency, Aging, Alzheimer's, Grieving on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

At the heart of the film Still Alice is Julianne Moore’s portrayal of early onset Alzheimer’s Disease.  Told from the Linguistics Professor’s point of view, we see the world shrink and distort for her, as if she has boarded a tiny boat and is suddenly in the middle of the Atlantic.  It is a terrifying story and an important one, not only because it explores the ravages of personhood that is Alzheimer’s, but also because it allows us to imagine the tremendous loss family members and friends bear in watching this wasting disease erode the loving, competent, insightful, and forgiving person they once knew.  One thing I take issue with is the fictional story’s overworked irony of a linguistics professor losing her words; the true story of such a condition may be found in the film Iris, a biographical film acted with ravaging truth by Judi Dench, Kate Winslet, and Jim Broadbent about the life and intellectual disintegration of Iris Murdoch, celebrated Irish philosophical novelist.  This disease is horrifying because it robs its sufferers of the competence developed over a lifetime – whether one stays home with children, rises up the corporate ladder, makes one’s mark as an academic, or sells cars.  Alzheimer’s robs its sufferers of meaning:  how to use toothpaste . . . how to follow directions . . . how to find the way home from a familiar location and, eventually, . . . how to find the very meaning of home.

My husband and I touched hands frequently as we watched this film together.  We both wept for the imaginary Alice and for the fraying of family life the disease causes.  At the end, we remained seated, our fingers touching, our eyes moist.  It is a mature person’s film and a young person’s film; it has a heart and a soul that is deep and tender because it expands our understanding of what it is to care for someone who is losing the self to this condition we call Alzheimer’s as well as our understanding of the person who is losing the self.

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Tapping and Death (Cafes)

This entry was posted in Death, Grieving, Tapping, Tenderness on by .

 

Inevitably when we do our deepest work, we come to what may be our greatest cultural taboo:  Death.  Even at funerals we tend to focus on death’s antidotes – the flowers, the embalmed bodies that “look better than ever”, and the religious belief that the dead are in a “better place.”  The truth is, we can’t know with certainty what lies beyond this life.  What we can know is that nothing in life is permanent and this impermanence often makes us anxious.  As we approach death psychologically and emotionally, admitting its reality and reflecting on its meaning for us, tapping can help us to explore the fears we have absorbed from our family, friends, and culture.

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Tapping and Father Loss

This entry was posted in Anger, Father Loss, Grieving, Rage, Tapping, Trust on by .

 

On this Father’s Day, those of us who have lost our fathers or are estranged from them often feel an overwhelming sense of grief, especially when we see photos of young dads with their new babes in body slings, middle aged dads sharing proud moments with older children, and older dads who have made the transition to loving grandfathers.  We look at these images and our hearts pulse with longing for that deep connection with someone who has been absent from our lives.  When our fathers die early, disappear because of separation or divorce, or become lost to us through addiction, the usually dormant father-loss placeholder in our lives can become a pulsing wound as everyone around us celebrates.

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Tapping for Others

This entry was posted in Agency, Authenticity, Grieving, Surrogate Tapping on by .

 

Tapping for someone else is called surrogate tapping.  Many who use it,  me included, feel it is a form of prayer.  When I first heard about surrogate tapping, I was concerned that I might be intruding on someone who didn’t want my help.  Gary Craig, EFT Founder and creator of Official EFT sheds a more benign light on surrogate tapping.  When asked if he considered tapping for others intrusive, he compared it to prayer.  Generally, we don’t ask if we can pray for those we are moved to shower with love, he offered.  We do it whenever we are moved to send loving energy their way.

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The Ache of Cultural and Global Transformation

This entry was posted in Aging, Creativity, Cultural Creatives, Grieving, Imaginal Cells, Meditation, Resilience, Saying Yes to Life and tagged on by .

 

Each of us alive on the planet today is experiencing change brought on by events over which we have little or no control.  One ongoing event we all share, we call climate change.  At a recent gathering called to strengthen and nourish a diverse community of elders in these parts, participants spoke of the perilous state of bees everywhere and of the diminishing populations of bats in the northeastern states.  Fewer butterflies, bees, and bats, interrupted growing seasons, and extreme weather in the form of drought or deluge here and elsewhere signal that our world is changing and that we must respond intelligently to these changes rather than react out of fear.

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Addiction, Grief, and EFT

This entry was posted in Addiction, EFT, Grieving on by .

 

Throughout my childhood and early adolescence in the nineteen fifties, it seemed almost everyone I knew smoked.  My mother, aunt, and eventually my older sister and school contemporaries were lighting up Dumauriers, Rothmans, Kools, or Camels.   Boys used cigarettes to foster an aura of coolness, hoping to emulate James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause.  Girls often used cigarettes to suppress their appetites to achieve the lean boyish look that would eventually peak with Twiggy, the wide-eyed, androgynous teen model who burst onto the Mod style scene in the mid-sixties.

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