Category Archives: Shame

Voicelessness and Sexual Assault

This entry was posted in After Care, Assertiveness, Beliefs, Loving Kindness, PTSD, Resilience, Shame, Spiritual Rehydration, Tapping, Trust, vulnerability on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

Last week, in the post on sexual assault’s afterlife, I touched on my grandmother’s vocal response to the event along with my own inability to make a sound during the assault.  It is easy to assume a four-year-old child is unable to confront a sexual predator, but this is not always the case.  Some children scream, cry, and fight physically, while others, like me, manifest sudden voicelessness and physical paralysis.  This is the manifestation of the Freeze aspect of the the Fight, Flight, or Freeze Stress Response.  During sudden trauma, we sometimes fight, we sometimes take flight, and, as happened to me, we sometimes freeze.  Daily tapping, along with healthy sleep habits, eating habits, thinking habits, physical movement habits, meditation habits, and social habits, can build resilience into our lives that helps the Stress Response do the work it is meant to do – protect us from actual danger.

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After Sexual Assault

This entry was posted in Activism, Agency, PTSD, Sacredness, Shame, Speaking our Truth, Trauma, Trust, vulnerability, Worthiness on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

Of all the challenges I deal with personally and professionally, none requires more sensitivity than sexual assault.  For most survivors just saying the term, or the more common word, rape, sets in motion a physiological chain reaction that often feels like someone’s fingers are probing around in our guts.  In survivors, this subject can trigger feelings of threat, of vulnerability, of shame, and – at the same time – of agency, of empowerment, and of triumph.  We can be terrified and in one and the same moment have the courage to speak out in order to honour our determination to heal and to support others in their healing.  We can rage against those who would blame us for the criminal acts of others and at the same time be calm enough to speak our truth, end the silence around these vicious crimes, and create community with others who feel vulnerable and ashamed and at the same time empowered to speak out against sexual predation and its coverups.

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Tapping and Shame: PTSD Conclusion

This entry was posted in Agency, Blindsight, EFT, Shame, Tapping, Trauma on by .

 

Disclaimer:  PTSD  is not something anyone without training should face alone.  This blog contains descriptions that may trigger anxiety or fear, especially in PTSD sufferers.  If you suffer from PTSD and have learned tapping from your EFT Practitioner, counselor, or therapist, please tap while you are reading the following post; if you are unfamiliar with tapping, please postpone reading this blog until you have engaged a counselor, EFT Practitioner, or certified/licensed therapist who uses this technique.  Winter Blooms is an educational website only and is in no way meant to replace a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner near you, visit the AAMET website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for support in transforming your PTSD experiences.

Please see the August 3 and 10, 2014 blog posts for the introduction and second part of this three-part exploration of tapping to transform PTSD symptoms.

One of the most surprising discoveries I made during my PTSD recovery involved shame.  Logically, I understood the deep trust violations I had the opportunity to repair, but in my shame discoveries, logic couldn’t help me.  To be helpless and traumatized at any age did not appear to have any relationship to the two kinds of shame most of us experience:  productive shame and toxic shame.  We usually learn very early about productive shame.  It is that sick feeling in the gut that kicks in to support matters of conscience.  When we know something violates our code of ethics, such as stealing, but do it anyway, the consequential shame reminds us that we have gone against our inner guides concerning right and wrong actions.  In these uncomfortable situations our feelings of unease – in the gut, in the heart, in the throat – point the way back to feeling good by repairing what we have done wrong and doing what we think and feel is right.  We need what I call productive shame, especially when we are young and our values are untried or forming.  Toxic shame, on the other hand, humiliates and cripples us emotionally and must be neutralized before we feel free to develop lives of our choosing.  Tapping is very effective in neutralizing toxic shame.

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