Category Archives: Tenderness

The “Me Too” Revolution

This entry was posted in #MeToo, Courage, PTSD, Safety, Sexism, Shame, Tenderness on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with an accredited EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To learn more about EFT, visit the AAMET website at www.aamet.org, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

In the aftermath of Harvey Weinstein sexual predation revelations, hundreds of thousands of people, mostly women, are participating in the #MeToo movement to increase solidarity among the victims of unwanted sexual advances and violent sexual assault.  We are millions, we are global, and we have been, until now, largely unheard.  Why?

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The Dangers of Unexpressed Emotions

This entry was posted in Personal Peace Procedure, Tapping for Love, Tenderness, Unresolved Conflict on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the ACEP website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

Sometimes, regardless of our efforts to resolve conflict lovingly and responsibly, we are unable to reach a peaceful resolution with the person or persons involved.  For those of us who have been schooled in homes where conflict is to be avoided at all cost, we run the risk of swallowing our emotions to avoid triggering responses we fear we will not be able to handle.  When we do so, we open the doors to physical illness because unexpressed emotions can and do play havoc in the bodymind system.  This is especially challenging when we engage with people who have not yet learned to accept their share of responsibility in the conflict or when we feel we must take care of others at the expense of our own emotional and physical health.  Tapping is particularly helpful in such situations, since it allows us to work through our part in the challenges while creating the space for others to step forward to do the same; in short, Tapping helps us to create healthy boundaries that honour others’ needs as well as our own.

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The Longest Journey

This entry was posted in Anger, Assertiveness, Authenticity, Community, Hubris, Loving Kindness, Resilience, Tapping, Tenderness on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the ACEP website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

Many cultures, including our own, tell us  that the longest journey we ever make is the journey from head to heart.  Anyone who has spent time living in thinking mode knows the truth of this statement.  We spare ourselves the work of feeling when we crowd out our emotional responses with constant information gathering, analysis, and judgment.  The truth is, our emotions distress us, because they often come with an awareness of our vulnerabilities.  It feels much safer to give ourselves over to thinking about our lives and the world.  And yet, without the guidance of our hearts and emotions, we are nothing more than machine-like problem solvers and problem creators.  Given the number of crises we must address address today, it is easy to conclude that very few people have made the journey from head to heart.

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Weight Loss and Aftercare

This entry was posted in After Care, Tapping, Tenderness, Weight Loss on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

Many of us choose this time of year to begin new diet and exercise regimes to lose weight, usually because during the holiday season we are either celebrating with family and friends to excess or we are in mourning because we have no one with whom to celebrate and “stuff” our deep grief with food.  The abundance of successful diet programs advertised at this time of year prove that we’re fairly good at losing weight.  The trouble comes with keeping excess weight off and developing and maintaining healthy food and exercises choices even when challenged by old habits of thought and action.  I was reminded of the importance of what happens after we lose weight when I watched Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, 2, Joe Cross’s follow up film on the beneficial effects of “rebooting” our well being by juicing; in this film sequel, the warm and compassionate Joe Cross emphasizes the importance of community in maintaining healthy food and lifestyle choices.  He also reintroduces the remarkable Phil Staples, not as the poster child for weight loss this time, but as the guy who falls off the wagon because of lack of community.

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Tapping and Thankfulness

This entry was posted in Activism, Community, Courage, Creativity, Tapping, Tenderness, Thanksfulness, Transformation on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website only and is in no way meant to replace experience with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

It is often challenging to practice stewardship at a time of year when everyone seems mad to eat from a sense of duty and tradition rather than gratitude and hunger and to buy goods to “fuel our economy” in its quest for limitless growth rather than out of personal need.  And yet we know in our wisest, most conscious moments that our habits of excessive consumption are killing our planet, shortening our individual lifespans, and alienating us from our brothers and sisters all over the world.  Here in the west, perhaps unwittingly, we have become insular and parochial rather than thankful world citizens.  We have made having more of everything the greatest good and in the process chained our souls to a brutal and unforgiving way of life.  We witness the signs of dire poverty on every street corner of every town, city, and village.  We witness racism at work in our educational, political, and judicial systems.  We complain about our leaders, but show no leadership ourselves.  We go along with things as they are because to do otherwise requires an effort we cannot imagine making.  Change, however, is always possible.  At this time of year, as the seasons change, as our fuel bills change, as our wardrobes change, as our relationships with our modes of transit change, the energies of change – of fundamental transformation – batter at the doors of our yearning hearts.

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Tapping and Failure

This entry was posted in Authenticity, EFT, Failure, Fear, Tapping, Tenderness, The Reframe on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website only and is in no way meant to replace experience with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

Failure can be a wonderful teacher, especially when we tap without seeming to shift specific issues.  Failure prompts us to think and intuit outside our usual patterns of cause and effect.  One of my favourite phrases when tapping on a particularly stubborn issue is “If I need to fail at understanding and resolving this challenge now, what are failure’s gifts?”  Seeing failure as a gift giver is a positive reframe that prompts us to look for the hidden benefits – what Gary Craig has called the Secondary Gains – in what appear to be negative situations.  We may be close to understanding something that requires special emotional support and the time provided by apparent failure allows for that support to materialize in our lives.  When our tapping failures are seen in this way, EFT becomes a process rather than a product, a journey rather than a destination; it takes the pressure off our problem solving efforts and brings into our awareness helpful forces beyond our control that support our intention to live authentically and with love.

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Trust and Tapping: PTSD Transformations

This entry was posted in EFT, PTSD, Resilience, Safety, Tapping, Tenderness, The Reframe, Transformation, Trauma, Trust on by .

 

Disclaimer:  PTSD  is not something anyone without training should face alone.  This blog contains descriptions that may trigger anxiety or fear, especially in PTSD sufferers.  If you suffer from PTSD and have learned tapping from your EFT Practitioner, counselor, or therapist, please tap while you are reading the following post; if you are unfamiliar with tapping, please postpone reading this blog until you have engaged a counselor, EFT Practitioner, or certified/licensed therapist who uses this technique.  Winter Blooms is an educational website only and is in no way meant to replace a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner near you, visit the AAMET website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for support in transforming your PTSD experiences.

Please see the August 3, 2014 blog post for the introduction to this three-part exploration of tapping to transform PTSD symptoms.

In transforming my personal PTSD symptoms and in my work with clients, I consider our ability to reframe or shift our perspective on events to be our most valuable tool.  In every case, by learning to view our PTSD symptoms as messengers warning of potential danger we are able to create the necessary space to be with the evidence of our trauma, not as a threat, but as an ally that is looking out for us.  Once we understand and experience our explosive feelings as guides and teachers, we can then shift our relationship with them.

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Tapping and Death (Cafes)

This entry was posted in Death, Grieving, Tapping, Tenderness on by .

 

Inevitably when we do our deepest work, we come to what may be our greatest cultural taboo:  Death.  Even at funerals we tend to focus on death’s antidotes – the flowers, the embalmed bodies that “look better than ever”, and the religious belief that the dead are in a “better place.”  The truth is, we can’t know with certainty what lies beyond this life.  What we can know is that nothing in life is permanent and this impermanence often makes us anxious.  As we approach death psychologically and emotionally, admitting its reality and reflecting on its meaning for us, tapping can help us to explore the fears we have absorbed from our family, friends, and culture.

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Tapping and Those Last Five Pounds

This entry was posted in Spiritual Practice, Tapping, Tenderness, Transformation, Worthiness on by .

 

The exhilaration of shifting our weight after a long struggle with obesity is one of the most satisfying experiences we can have in life.  It is beneficial to our health as well, since our Body Mass Index is an indicator not only of longevity but of quality of life.  As diabetes diagnoses soar and reports circulate regarding the dangers of processed foods, many search for a successful route to a healthy weight and body image.  When used effectively, tapping supports both.

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Tapping and Tenderness

This entry was posted in Aging, Tapping, Tenderness, Trust on by .

 

Tenderness is a quality that improves life the moment it is expressed.  Realizing we have temporarily lost sight of a goal, for example, often prompts us to berate ourselves with hurtful phrases such as, “I never follow through; I’m such a loser; I can’t do anything.”  How differently we feel when we respond to our perceived failures with tenderness:  “Oh, where did that goal go?  I wonder what got in the way of my plans to accomplish that?  What wisdom is my body trying to share with me regarding what I need in this moment?”  A tender attitude opens us to curiosity rather than judgment, and curiosity is the first step toward deepening our understanding of ourselves and others.

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