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With polarizing influences screeching in our ears like nails on a blackboard, it is easy to be caught up in the drama and forget to turn off our devices and sit in silence as we invite the natural rhythms of the world to bring us back to centre. One of the most effective techniques for building resilience in the long term and self regulating in the moment is to step outside onto a grassy patch, focus on a tree, and simply offer our appreciation for its being present to us. Resilience and self regulation are the secret to joyful longevity, loving and respectful relationships, and successful, sustainable business enterprises. Tapping to clear all resistance to daily resilience and self regulation practices helps us to develop nourishing self-care practices that ensure positive experiences in the moment and positive experiences over time.
Tapping to Dissolve Resistance to Self Care
Whenever I ask practitioners who work with repeat clients why folks become stuck in the mire of negativity, their answer is most frequently “non-compliance.” The very best homework assignments that ensure new neural pathways, a stronger immune system, and even a surge of optimism can only work if we practice them regularly. For all of us who know we should be doing X or Y or Z on a regular basis but don’t, the following is a very special tapping script, one that’s meant to make us laugh as we release all energies that oppose our willingness to embrace responsibility for our health and well being.
KC: Even though I don’t want to do this personal work, I love every bit of my rebellious Self. Even though I hate homework and the idea that I have to be responsible for my well being, I love every bit of my inner, no-shouting, two-year-old self. Even though I resent having to do personal work and just want everything to go my way, I deeply and completely love every part of me, especially those parts in conflict with each other.
EB: My inner two-year-old is screaming NO!
SE: I don’t want to do this work.
UE: No, no, no, no.
UN: Forget it. I’m not doing it. You’re not the boss of me.
Ch: NO! No personal work for me.
CB: I don’t want to do this personal work.
UE: I shouldn’t have to do this work.
ToH: Forget it. I’m not doing it.
Whenever I find myself resisting important self care homework, I usually end up laughing as I tune into my inner two-year old. Like so many of us, as I child I was very well behaved, not because it was my nature, but because I learned very early to meet others’ needs for peace and compliance instead of my own need for authentic expression. Doing the above script with the spirit of my rebellious two-year-old always gets me laughing, and this laughter creates the space I need to move forward.
Second Round (after a gentle “energy scrub” of face and hands):
EB: It feels so great to say No!
SE: I wasn’t allowed to be disobedient when I was little, but I can be disobedient now and it feels great.
UE: No, no, no!
UN: If I wanted to, I could throw myself on the floor and have a spectacular tantrum.
Ch: My inner two year old is laughing like crazy at the idea of my doing this!
CB: It would be a sight, my flailing and shouting and thrashing around.
UA: I could have a tantrum if I wanted to.
ToH; It’s so funny, but now I’ve given myself permission to have a tantrum, I don’t feel the need to have one.
Again, have a little “energy scrub” before tuning in to see if the space is there for the technique you’ve been advised to practice. If not, do another round or two of what I call the “No, no, no script,” or better yet, slip on your knee pads and crawl around for a little while. I learned the benefits of crawling from Tim Anderson who recommends we develop the habit of a Three-Minute Reset daily (see the crawling segment of Tim’s three-minute reset/reboot at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmOXCmoLlTI).
EB: It actually felt good to do this technique when I did it with my coach.
SE: I’m feeling committed to working through my resistance to something that is going to help me feel more buoyant and alive.
UE: Wow! I think I’m ready to comply.
UN: If it doesn’t feel good, I can always stop doing it. . . , and throw a tantrum.
Ch: I think I’ll record how I feel in my journal after each session, just to keep track of how I respond each time I practice this technique.
CB: It’s really easy to “lose” my body during the stresses of my work day, and I know this technique helps me to stay heart-centred and calm rather than head-driven and jittery.
UA: I’m actually looking forward to doing this technique and feeling its effects.
ToH: I value staying centred and grounded no matter what.
Respecting Our Stories
We all have examples of meeting resistance when we decide to change a habit, especially one that has substituted for resilience and self regulation by protecting us from negative feelings. For example, smoking gives us permission to breathe after trauma, and a bag of doughnuts obliterates, at least temporarily, the residual feelings of emotional neglect, sexual abuse, or any of the other consequences of ACEs or adult traumas. Resistance is always an ally because it is doing what it can to keep us safe. Tapping on resistance, thanking it for whatever job it has been doing and then releasing it, with laughter as above, or with the specific story that has come forward for healing, is an effective way to embrace those aspects of self care we might otherwise resist.
Until next time, with lots of laughter
Jane Buchan, MA, AAMET Advanced Practitioner, firstname.lastname@example.org, 802-533-9277
Jane is a Learning Coach specializing in neutralizing cultural age, gender, and race constructs to support learners of every age. To engage her coaching services, please contact Jane by phone (802) 533-9277 or email, email@example.com. Be sure to put Coaching Query in the subject line.