Reflections and Tools for the Journey
Because we all endure serious losses, trauma is a universal experience. Such losses – of innocence, of safety, of belonging – precipitate feelings of isolation, identity confusion, and, perhaps most distressing, the blindsiding shame that comes with sudden, shocking vulnerability. Tragically, our sense of shame at being vulnerable too often causes habitual self-blame and self-criticism.
After an assault we say, “I should have known better than to wear that / go to that party / risk having a drink in that place.”
In the aftermath of accidents, we second guess ourselves with questions like, “Why didn’t I take a different route / call an Uber / take a subway? What’s the matter with me?”
When we trip or fall, we say, “I’m such a clumsy idiot. What a klutz. I’m just so awkward / ridiculous doing the simplest things.”
And when someone attacks us verbally, we say, “I must have done something / said something / to deserve that.”
We make these criticisms of ourselves, yet on our best days, we offer tenderness and care to others who experience similar situations and events.
The purpose of this brief guide is to support readers who feel ready to safely explore, express, and transform the pain and shock their traumas have caused. Part One reflections set the stage for why we need the tools. Parts Two and Three present the tools themselves. These tools are meant to be used long-term to support in-the-moment self-regulation and over time strengthen resilience, empowerment, and self-efficacy, the attitude that comes from knowing through experience we can effectively respond to people and situations rather than react to them.
ACES, ADULT TRAUMA, and THE RETURN to WHOLENESS
Reflections and Tools for the Journey
COMING SOON!