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Waiting . . . and EFT

In our highly monetized consumer culture, many have become accustomed to instant gratification.  ‘Trusting the process,’ a highly valuable attitude when involved in creative projects and problem solving, has been lost when dealing with everyday frustrations.  We’re encouraged to be the ‘right-now’ culture, whether we’re young, middle-aged or old.  In this world of constant promotions and immediate-gratification demands, we have misplaced something essential to our humanness:  our delight in free time. Continue reading Waiting . . . and EFT

Celebrating Toni Morrison

Toni Morrison’s long and wondrous life ended this week, on August 5, 2019. All of us alive today have been touched by her body of work whether we know it or not. For me, Toni shone as a woman in a man’s world, and more audaciously, as a black woman in that world. The literary canon still taught in many out-dated colleges and universities carries the heavy load of racial and cultural bias, skewing students’ beliefs about what makes literature great. Toni, along with many other women, outed that lie simply by writing.

As a literature student, always and forever – because story is the humanizing principle of our species – I will miss the anticipation of a new Toni Morrison offering. And I will revisit her literary children and watch the film Beloved again and again, for the heart and the soul of pain and healing it transmits through its cadences, its images, and the shocks and pleasures of its characters. So many women writing today carry on the deep soul work of our best writers. I am grateful for all of them, and especially for Toni Morrison, the woman who emerged from the literary mists of my young adulthood to assure me that the world of story, lasting, vital story, was not the exclusive property of dead white men.

Now I am on the hunt for the new documentary, Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am. Up in this neck of the very white woods that is northern Vermont, we have two theatres that will likely show it, The Savoy in Montpelier, and The Roxy in Burlington. I know I can watch it on one of the platforms available to us in our homes, but I don’t want to experience this last documented Toni-Morrison moment by myself. I want the public experience of sharing her with others who love and value her work as a writer, a way-shower, a guide back to deep justice, tenderness, and love.

Thank you, Toni, for every word, uttered and written. You are and always will be a light in the darkness of human folly and treachery. First at so many things, you will continue to shine through these dark times and we, all of us, will continue to be blessed by your shining.

EFT and Grief

Losing Ms Morrison is an immediate and sorrowful event for me. I want to feel all my feelings about her courage and her work and the considerable loss I feel at her passing. EFT is useful when grief will not shift on its own. It is not a deadening tool, but rather a relieving one. I have no need to tap on my grief at losing this giant of literature because feeling this grief is part of what makes me human.

If, however, her loss leads to an unshakable depression about the state of the world, then using EFT to release that dread and hopelessness will become a forward path. Just now, I feel nothing but the loss of a spiritual teacher. I want to feel how much I will miss Toni Morrison. Missing her will lead me to revisit her books and her interviews, and this revisiting process will enrich me further.

EFT is useful for chronic, relentless grief. What I and so many others are experiencing now is the healthy expression of mourning. This grief assures us we are alive to the pain and wonder of the world. This grief is a gift. It is at the heart of the human experience. Feeling this powerful emotion for the loss of Toni Morrison, one so bravely present to the world in all its beauty and horror, is a privilege.

Until next time,

Jane

Visit www.eftinternational.org to learn more about how the use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

Jane is an EFT International Accredited Master Trainer,  writer, coach, and educator specializing in neutralizing the long-term effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)  as well as the cultural limitations that interfere with our ability to imagine, create, and live the lives we desire.  To engage Jane for individual or group coaching services, EFT International(AAMET)  Accredited, Certified Mentoring sessions,  and EFT Level One and Two Training for your group, call Jane at  (802) 533-9277 or email   jane@winterblooms.net .  Visit www.winterblooms.net to learn more about how Jane supports and inspires individuals, groups, and communities.

Please Note:  This educational website cannot replace therapy with certified psychologists, family therapists, or psychiatrists.  Before training with EFT International, Jane taught at the elementary, secondary, and college levels, in Ontario, and at the Community College of Vermont. She is an early trauma survivor who works exclusively as a learning coach using the best practices of EFT as taught by EFT International.  She created this website to support the most effective use of EFT to reduce general and specific stresses and to increase the joy of daily living through self regulation and pro-social experiences.

EFT and Renewal

As we expand into the warmth and light of 2019’s Summer energies, I think of our human populations here in the northern hemisphere as Light Repositories. In our bones we know this Light is already on the wane, having reached its peak of brilliance on the Summer Solstice, this year marked on June 21st. Here in Northeastern Vermont, neighbours on farms and in villages and towns gather to honour this pinnacle of Light and the official beginning of Summer. In our human expressions of gratitude for this season, we light our bonfires at night, our answering Response to the Sun’s glorious Call . . . to grow . . . to shine.

The four seasons we experience in the northern hemisphere are all about Renewal, the energy fuel powering both self-regulation and resilience. Regular periods of conscious renewal can make the difference between creative, joyful living and that other, driven way that can creep into our days and rob us of peace, well being, and even sleep. Summer Solstice renewal is all about embracing our ability to take in and reflect Light, both metaphorical and actual. We need the Sun’s warmth as surely as all species do, to feel whole. Stepping out into the Light of this new season, our feet bare, our hearts open, can help us to weather those inevitable dark times to come.

EFT supports renewal. Each day, a morning gratitude meditation while tapping through the points brings us home to the emotions of sacredness and belonging. Whatever our experiences, including high ACES, the loss of a Beloved, or the wearing stresses of a toxic work place, we can settle into the home our bodies provide when we are well regulated and in touch with the supportive energies of the seasons. This season, Summer, is all about action, moving out into the world with our gifts, connecting in heart space, growing through the pain of the larger world’s back story. Here, beneath our feet, Life stirs. Our outer fields are green and growing. They call to our inner landscapes to do likewise.

Because I believe we are always influenced by the larger stories of the world whether we consciously attend to learning about these or not, I spend time judiciously reading about current events through a variety of sources I can count on for reliable information. This research about current world events is very much like entering the lion’s den. I go into these information pools with my tapping and writing skills at hand, employing these to return to safety whenever I find the news threatening.

Knowing we are attached to the larger stories whether we are aware of our attachment or not has been knowledge that has served me well over the decades of my life. Now books reflect the influence of family and cultural histories, giving us context for our challenges. The person struggling with alcohol learns this is a family pattern begun perhaps when a veteran returned from the first World War and had no place to explore his grief and terror, emotions prowling around in his body until the alcohol temporarily relieves him of these profoundly disturbing feelings. Daily focused use of EFT clears personal challenges regarding our individual histories and gives us perspective on those patterns that come down to us through our individual families and cultures. This is why EFT is so essential to our renewal.

Renewal is always about strengthening our ability to know and to grow through our discoveries, positive and challenging. EFT along with Summer energies support our human endeavours to renew, to continue to contribute to our families, our communities, and our workplaces in positive ways. Renewal informs our relationship to the sacred space of this season. It prompts us to sit in the Sun, to absorb the Light and the heat, and to feel the eons of joy this loving relationship between Sun and Earth has nurtured since the Time before time.

Taking time – for stillness, for beauty, for deep gratitude for the natural world – acts as a tonic for our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits. Our connection to this universal wholeness, unbreakable even when we are busy with other thoughts and activities, is the source of true power to live well and love our place in the world, whatever form that may take. This is the experience of renewal, of Renewal.

Whatever our season . . . , may we all look up and out to rediscover the magnificence of which we are an essential and inseparable part.

Until next time,

Jane

Visit www.eftinternational.org to learn more about how the use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

Jane is an EFT International Accredited Master Trainer,  writer, coach, and educator specializing in neutralizing the long-term effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)  as well as the cultural limitations that interfere with our ability to imagine, create, and live the lives we desire.  To engage Jane for individual or group coaching services, EFT International(AAMET)  Accredited, Certified Mentoring sessions,  and EFT Level One and Two Training for your group, call Jane at  (802) 533-9277 or email   jane@winterblooms.net .  Visit www.winterblooms.net to learn more about how Jane supports and inspires individuals, groups, and communities.

Please Note:  This educational website cannot replace therapy with certified psychologists, family therapists, or psychiatrists.  Before certifiying with EFT International, Jane taught at the elementary, secondary, and college levels, in Ontario, and at the Community College of Vermont. She is an early trauma survivor who works exclusively as a learning coach in the best practices of EFT.  She created this website to support the most effective use of EFT to reduce general and specific stresses and to increase the joy of daily living through self regulation and pro-social experiences.

The Current College Admissions Scandal and EFT

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how the use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

I love writing.  Of all the skills I’ve attempted to master during my lifetime, writing is very high on my list of joyful accomplishments.  This is because, as a child, I suffered from developmental trauma. I lived without a voice.  I could cry, I could laugh, and I could rage, but the ability to speak my mind and heart in order to communicate something intelligible was not a skill I fully developed until I was an adult.  My way of avoiding discovery of my distressful isolation was to smile, a lot.  Early on I discovered that people tend to ignore a silent, smiling kid.  They look fine, right?  Cute.  One of the kids nobody has to worry about. Education changed my life, as it changes the lives of many, many traumatized children.

Continue reading The Current College Admissions Scandal and EFT

Mary Oliver’s Many Gifts to Us


Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how the use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

Mary Jane Oliver, American poet, died on January 17, 2019. Although she will be greatly missed, her poetry remains to remind us of her gift for deep connection with the natural world. Arguments about her literary value may feed the appetite for constant critical analysis in the academy, but no one who has suffered childhood trauma and read Oliver’s work as an adult doubts her ability to see and express the human ability to heal through our connection with nature. Whether she intended to be or not, Mary Oliver is a poet especially relevant to those who suffer trauma at the hands of the humans in our lives.

Poetry, like life, gives us what we expect. If we expect erudition, cleverness, and cerebral workouts, Mary Oliver will disappoint. If we expect solace, delight, beauty, and coherence, her words flood us with the comforting sound of a mature voice expressing our deep hunger for, and discovery of, meaning. Because of the deeply rooted sensory nature of her work, it is no surprise that Oliver is one of America’s best selling poets. Many of us experience the pain of broken human relationship when we are young, our youth ensuring we have no words to describe what we are feeling. Bereft, we find love and caring where we can, sometimes with people who do not have our best interests at heart, sometimes with those so broken they forget connection, love, and kindness is the fuel we all require to become the people we were meant to be. And sometimes, we find home in the other-than-human world beyond our doorstep.

Mary Oliver is one of those rare poets whose images remind us we can reclaim our embodiment, even after the most severe trauma sends us deep into dissociation and lost identity. Moving through trauma means recognizing the site of the crime, marking out each violating act, and tenderly befriending whatever we had to do to feel safe. For many of us, safety is palpable when we are lying on the Earth looking up at the clouds, attending to the scents of mint or pine or salt water, or kneeling with reverence at the moment of some birth, death, or discovery we did not expect. The cry of wild geese, the heart-beat of waves, the drumming of woodpeckers, these sounds connect us to the pulsing mystery that sustains our lives. Humans may let us down, Mary Oliver reminds us, but the natural world never will. The natural expressions of life on earth knit us together with sight and sound and rhythm, these sensory foods nourishing body, heart, mind, and spirit.

As a survivor of early trauma, the most challenging aspects of my early life grew out of my inability to be present to the people in my world – family members, friends, teachers, and later, lovers and employers. Dissociation is a coping mechanism – a search for safety – most easily obscured by apparent compliance or its alter ego, rebelliousness. Traumatized children and adolescents are often called daydreamers, under-achievers, and even developmentally challenged. What we truly are is homeless, our sense of safety within the sanctuary of our bodies shattered by the traumas we’ve experienced. Mary Oliver, in her own pursuit of embodiment, has created an alchemy of re-connection, for herself, for those who read her.

Childhood trauma may leave us feeling permanently broken, alienated from others, adrift in a sea of sensation that feels constantly threatening and random.  Mary Oliver’s poetry offers a lifeline out of this sea.  As she looks and listens, as she expresses the joy, the surprise, the shock of life’s unfolding, her words have the power to coax us into our bodies – our personal expressions of sensory life – rhythmically, safely. 

Perhaps more than ever before, human disembodiment is encouraged and even rewarded by the mechanisms we have created to “connect.”  Our children are encouraged to study  STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) subjects, this emphasis covertly teaching generations of children to devalue the arts as frivolous non-essentials that take time, attention, and resources away from research that increasingly preoccupies the minds of our best and brightest, but, sadly, neglects the hearts and souls that make us human.

  “Meanwhile, the world goes on.”  In “Wild Geese,” Mary Oliver reminds us of the “soft animal of our bodies,” of our need for the other-than-human coherence found beyond the failures of our human connections.  Her poetry forges pathways to seeing, hearing, and living this coherence, even after the worst has happened.

As an EFT practitioner, I have come to think of the work I do, personally, on my own traumas, and with clients, as a means of rediscovering the poetry of our lives, the safety of our own bodies, the joy of being in relationship with the forces supporting all of life on our fragile, lovely planet.  Mary Oliver has long been part of this rediscovery.  I mourn her passing.  And I celebrate her ongoing, healing presence in the beauty and healing she continues to foster in so many of us to through her poetry.

Jane

 

Jane is an EFT practitioner, trainer, writer, and educator specializing in neutralizing the long-term effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)  as well as the cultural limitations that interfere with our ability to imagine, create, and live the lives we desire.  To engage Jane for individual or group coaching services, AAMET (EFT International)  Accredited, Certified Mentoring sessions,  and EFT Level One and Two Training for your group, call Jane at  (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net .  Visit www.winterblooms.net to learn more about how Jane supports and inspires individuals, groups, and communities.

Please Note:  This is an educational website only and not meant to replace therapy with certified psychologists, family therapists, or psychiatrists.  Jane Buchan, MA, is an AAMET (EFT International) Master Trainer, long-time teacher at the elementary, secondary, and college levels, and early trauma survivor who works exclusively as a learning coach in the best practices of EFT.  She created this website to support the most effective use of EFT to reduce general and specific stresses and to increase the joy of daily living through self regulation and co-regulation.

To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, please reach out to Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or by email at jane@winterblooms.net.  In her coaching practice, Jane uses EFT and many other techniques to help individuals, groups, and communities resolve inner and outer conflicts and identify and achieve goals that will bring about desired positive changes.  This blog reflects her experience with EFT’s efficacy as a support for personal, community, and cultural transformation.



When Holiday Blues turn Black – A Seasonal Love Note

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how the use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

 

Recently, I watched a stranger’s growing distress as a cheerful sales clerk asked casual questions about the status of her tree trimming, baking, and gift buying.  To some, this time of year is an endless source of joy that means family, the birth of Christ, and the meaning of giving.  To many others in the western hemisphere, this holiday season distills the isolation and disillusionment at the heart of a compulsively  materialistic culture. Whether we’re solidly in the joy camp or increasingly aware of the inequities in our society, this time of year comes with its own special challenges.  So much of our attention is diverted from the quiet pleasures of authentic connection that we can spiral into seasonal depression.  Using EFT daily, as a personal emotional-hygiene tool and even as a form of prayer for the larger world, can help us to find Peace in the Winter Solstice energies supporting conscious rebirth. 

 

Continue reading When Holiday Blues turn Black – A Seasonal Love Note

Emotional Freedom Techniques and the Permission to Begin

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

 “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Lao-tzu

Yes, but . . . .  When we are caught in the energies of fear, self doubt, past failures, and isolation, taking that first, single step toward a goal can trigger our flight, fight, freeze response.  When we are flooded with these emotions, even the tiniest step toward a goal seems utterly impossible.  Sometimes, in order to avoid admitting our fear, we launch into discrediting the goal as unworthy.  For example, a person who sets a weight-loss goal and finds himself paralyzed by mysterious fears might say, “Why should I give in to the cultural pressure to be thin?  I’m going to be myself, a big guy, and celebrate my bigness.”

This response is entirely valid unless the decision to lose weight is based on legitimate health risks such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, joint/movement problems or a combination of these.  When a part of us knows it is time to make a change, and another part comes forward to discredit that knowledge, Emotional Freedom Techniques can help us to find a way forward.  Best of all, EFT can do so very gently.

Continue reading Emotional Freedom Techniques and the Permission to Begin

Early Trauma, Movement, and EFT

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

When infancy and early childhood are interrupted by sudden shocking experiences for which we cannot be prepared, the body often responds with profound stillness.  This freeze reaction is an expression of the Flight, Flight, Freeze Response built into the complex systems supporting human development.  Far from being a sign of failure, these automatic reactions to trauma are meant to protect us from experiences we are not yet ready to understand and resolve.

The long-term effects of the trauma induced Fight, Flight, Freeze Response include habits that do not serve our best interests as engaged and confident adults.  Because of their ability to negatively impact us emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually, these habits present us with the opportunity to learn and apply skills as we mature, skills to support the replacement of negative habits with positive ones.  While addressing our traumas once we have developed cognitive skills and body awareness can feel burdensome, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and its power to support the natural process of memory re-consolidation can lighten and even resolve the emotional challenges of early trauma.

Continue reading Early Trauma, Movement, and EFT

Judy Rebick, Early Childhood Trauma, and Telling Our Stories

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

If you are Canadian and a Boomer, or a feminist of any nationality, you know the name Judy Rebick.  She has been at the forefront of humanitarian causes since the 1970s, and her fearlessness as an advocate and activist is legendary.  She championed Dr. Henry Morgentaler and Dr. Robert Scott when The Morgentaler Clinic was under assault from extremists in the Right to Life movement.  She also advocated for deaf-culture individuals and agencies and for labour unions threatened by NAFTA.   The author of several books, her new memoir, Heroes in My Head, is a must read for anyone concerned with early childhood trauma, it’s long-term health and relationship effects, and its profound power to unleash the protective genius of a child experiencing assault.

Continue reading Judy Rebick, Early Childhood Trauma, and Telling Our Stories

Emotional Freedom Techniques, ACEs, and Loving Kindness

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support, and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane (802) 533-9277 / jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

Bowing our heads to say a prayer for the world has fallen out of fashion, at least among the most vociferously expressive of our current-events chroniclers.  Sadly, in these times of emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual overload, the most common form of communication is the reactive rant.  Like a virus, the emotions of fear and grief fueling verbal assaults – those we see among leaders in news and those we see among family and friends and co-workers – cannot help but infect us, especially if we are working through the residual effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE). Continue reading Emotional Freedom Techniques, ACEs, and Loving Kindness