Thoughts on Facebook: Self Care Post # 6

Years ago I felt the pressure to join Facebook, not so much by family and friends, but by my professional affiliations. I felt resistance to joining this social media site but thought at the time that my resistance might be due to overwhelm caused by learning new technology. At the time, I was teaching at a community college while developing my practice as an emotional wellness coach and so was spending a considerable amount of my time on the computer. Because of work pressure, I gave in and joined. After participating in this inconceivably huge social medium for a little while, I felt my resistance to the platform increasing. While it would take me a couple of years to understand my resistance thoroughly, eventually I came to the conclusion that my porous boundaries and sensitivities to others’ energies made it an unhealthy place for me to exchange ideas and information.

Before I joined, I had seen the film The Social Network, and while I didn’t believe the film was without bias, I did feel that it accurately portrayed the contentious birth of Facebook, with lawsuits, acrimony, and adolescent reactions to opposition. Now, more than a year after I closed my account, I feel my decision was a protective one: first, from frustration at the overly stimulating energies the site carries; second, from distress over what people were actually putting out into the world (as opposed to what they thought they were posting); and, third, from our collective lack of awareness regarding how some users were intentionally using the platform to spread hate and disinformation.

We live in shoot-from-the-hip times that include playing for an audience. My work in the world is diametrically opposed to this reactive, retaliatory energy. In my community college classrooms and in my coaching sessions, I do what I can to support self-awareness, reflection, contemplation, and strong boundaries. Asking questions has always been my path into deeper understanding, of literature texts, and, of the emotional challenges we face when we have been traumatized. After a couple of years of experience on the site, I saw Facebook’s advantages, but I felt its potential for traumatizing its participants as well.

Now, as the social media giant struggles with boycotts over hate-groups and political messaging, my resistance to the site feels prescient. Some part of me that is always attuned to peace, understanding, and respect, resisted becoming involved in the collective energies of what is often the worst of our human behaviours. Researching other forms of social media connection has been revelatory. So far, I am in social media infancy, but my self care activities require that I move slowly into the online world of global connectivity.

I am fine about this slow, steady progress. Just as I choose to eat local and regional foods whenever I can, I choose to communicate directly with people. This means that I put myself out there as an EFT coach on reputable websites whose purpose and practice aligns with my own values. Because of this choice, I hear from people who want what I have to offer, not because of random marketing on a site that has no curating principles, but because these people have chosen to look for someone with my skills, education, and approach.

Living with the energy of violence, racism, hate speech, and rampant commercialism takes its toll, even when this influence is subliminal. Anxiety, critical self talk, and false comparisons are but a few of the side-effects of social media dependence. The 2019 Forbe’s article (see link below) is but one of many exploring the potential dangers of Facebook and social-media dependency. Because Emotional Freedom Techniques practitioners are in the business of raising our and our clients’ energy vibrations, it is especially important to choose our social media platforms thoughtfully.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/jessicabaron/2019/01/08/is-facebook-harmful-to-your-health/#7c86fbb46436

Energy work is highly gratifying, and at the same time raises our levels of sensitivity to reactive behaviours such as fear-driven bullying, false representation, and cynical marketing. We have an opportunity to create more coherent, supportive, and positive platforms that are sensitive to the harm we can do in the world simply by going along with something we believe will benefit us monetarily. These are highly volatile times. Choosing to support peace and justice in the world is always good for self respect, and self respect is an essential aspect of self care.

Be Safe. Be Informed. Be Just. Be Love.

Until next time, Jane

Tapping through Panic into Peace: Self Care Post 1

Hand on Heart
Gamut Point

In these times of Coronavirus concerns, it is comforting to know we have an Emotional Freedom Techniques method of tapping that does not require touching the face. The picture to the right illustrates a tapping protocol that is especially useful in calming fears. The Gamut Point, found on the back of the hand between the ring and baby finger tendons, sits on Triple Warmer, our fight or flight meridian. Our personal First-Responder, we need Triple Warmer energies when we must take action. However, in times of great stress Triple Warmer can become so vigilant that it becomes more problem than solution. By placing one hand on our Heart Chakra while tapping on the space between these two tendons with two, three, or even four fingers of the other hand, we soothe Triple Warmer’s reactivity and assure our sensitive sympathetic nervous system that it is safe to return to a calm and regulated emotional state. Tapping on the Gamut Point while reading distressing updates, fearing the worst for loved ones in hospital or nursing home, or simply aching for the world, reminds our amazingly responsive bodies and minds that we can always return to centre, take a breath, and so add to the peace of the world. Our individual self-regulation, achieved through this simple protocol, is a wonderful gift to ourselves and to others in these highly challenging times.

with love and peace, Jane

My Planet, My Self

In these times of constant Earth and human trauma, it is easy to lose sight of the good that is constantly playing out around us and through us. When edging into despair, I remind myself that the news most visible in our culture involves coverage of disasters and terrifying human behaviours. We seldom see evidence of good news – the good people do that is contributing to the changes we require to reverse the harm our destructive actions have on the world.

As constant negative emphasis threatens to get me down, an EFT tapping session can lift me out of the anxiety and despair of catastrophe-focused thought and feeling. Once I begin tapping through the points, my optimistic energies rally and I am aware of the spacious experience of balanced thinking, feeling, and clarity. In this state of self regulation, I can then about steps I might take to support a return to personal and planetary balance.

EFT and Climate Tragedy

This is EFT’s great value in times of crisis.  It’s regular use supports the personal calm that is required to be our best selves in every situation. The first step to changing our despairing point of view is to admit to the feelings we are experiencing.  EFT is all about honouring the truth of our emotional reality. Some of us are deeply sensitive to seasonal change, and here in the Northern Hemisphere, the bright sun and intense heat of summer are balanced by short, cold days and dark, colder nights.  Both extremes are vital to our food system as it has evolved in this part of the world, and so finding ways to accept and even delight in our seasonal weather patterns contributes to the strength we need to participate in the climate change awareness events that build a community of well informed activists and conscientious citizens.

Naming our feelings of loss as we read of the fires in Australia, or witness TV and film stories documenting the damage we have done to our world is the place we begin. Tapping through the points as we speak of fear, rage, helplessness, and the many other emotional responses we have to our current world situation helps to regulate the nervous system and make space for the wisdom that guides us to life affirming choices and behaviours.  We might simply tap:  “I feel so frightened and helpless when I read about __________________ or watch _________________.  I feel so frightened, for myself and for the rest of the world.”

Once we have expressed our most intense feelings, we often experience the calm that supports a healthy curiosity about how we can participate in bringing about the changes that will support balance.   Tapping through the points on the truth of our feelings, whether we feel numb, on the verge of panic, or find ourselves in some middle territory,  is always our starting place.  Whatever our emotional, physical, spiritual, or intellectual preoccupation, the EFT approach is the same: we name the most intense of our concerns as we tap through the points. 

Shifts in Perspective

After several rounds of tapping on our most intense feelings, persistent imagery, and/or obsessive thoughts, we pause to pay attention to any shift that may have occurred in our perspective.  This shift is never forced; nor is it cultivated by affirmations.  I experience it as the spaciousness that supports my ability to see a larger picture.  When this shift happens, I say, “Okay.  How might I help this situation?” 

Waiting for guidance is an interesting experience.  I usually ask for it and then go about my daily business.  Sometimes I’m startled out of a completely different focus to do some research on making a personal change in my life (for example a dietary change to support sustainable and local food systems), contributing to disaster relief funds, or taking some other action that unites me with the energies that are knitting the world together, even as human and natural disasters seem to be pulling it apart.  This tension between balance and imbalance is the dance of life.

Optimism and Longevity

As I move more deeply into my energy work in the world, I find myself thinking almost daily about the value of longevity.  Each of us must ask what our time on Earth, however long or short, is for.  I personally love the opportunity to spread the joy of learning something new, of helping others heal long standing emotional wounds in order to participate more fully in meeting the greater world’s needs.  Not everyone wants what I have to offer, some because they don’t recognize their own wounds, and others because they find me “too old.”  Neither of these points of view troubles me.  Each of us must come to learning and loving and healing in our own time and in our own way.  Longevity has taught me this vital lesson, longevity supported by my daily EFT personal work.

More Information

If you would like more information on how to keep your energies balanced and your optimism shining no matter what your age and your fears for our Earth Home, please email me at jane@winterblooms.net.  In the meantime, explore local remedies to despair:  seek out walking clubs with positive environmental biases in your area; learn how to participate in protecting your water sources, your forests, and your most vulnerable non-human and human communities; feel personally called by our climate crisis, called by our shared Earth Mother, and supported by Her, to work with others to reestablish balance and harmony.  When we release our intense emotions and obsessive thoughts daily, we find we have so much more energy for the work that has come to us to do.

Until next time,

Jane

Visit www.eftinternational.org to learn more about how the use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

Jane is an EFT International (formerly AAMET) Accredited Master Trainer,  writer, coach, and educator specializing in neutralizing the effects of personal negative thinking as well as the cultural limitations that interfere with our ability to imagine, create, and live our best lives at every age.  To engage Jane for individual or group coaching services, EFT International  Accredited, Certified Mentoring sessions,  and EFT Level One and Two Training for your group, call her at  (802) 533-9277 or email   jane@winterblooms.net. 

Visit www.winterblooms.net to learn more about how Jane supports and inspires individuals, groups, and communities.

Please Note:  This educational website cannot replace therapy with certified psychologists, family therapists, or psychiatrists.  Before training with EFT International, Jane taught at the elementary, secondary, and college levels, in Ontario, and at the Community College of Vermont. She is an early trauma survivor who works exclusively as a learning/energy coach using the best practices of EFT as taught by EFT International.  She created this website to support the most effective use of EFT to reduce general and specific stresses and to increase the joy of daily living through self regulation, resilience, and pro-social experiences.

Waiting . . . and EFT

In our highly monetized consumer culture, many have become accustomed to instant gratification.  ‘Trusting the process,’ a highly valuable attitude when involved in creative projects and problem solving, has been lost when dealing with everyday frustrations.  We’re encouraged to be the ‘right-now’ culture, whether we’re young, middle-aged or old.  In this world of constant promotions and immediate-gratification demands, we have misplaced something essential to our humanness:  our delight in free time. Continue reading Waiting . . . and EFT

Emotional Freedom Techniques and the Permission to Begin

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

 “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Lao-tzu

Yes, but . . . .  When we are caught in the energies of fear, self doubt, past failures, and isolation, taking that first, single step toward a goal can trigger our flight, fight, freeze response.  When we are flooded with these emotions, even the tiniest step toward a goal seems utterly impossible.  Sometimes, in order to avoid admitting our fear, we launch into discrediting the goal as unworthy.  For example, a person who sets a weight-loss goal and finds himself paralyzed by mysterious fears might say, “Why should I give in to the cultural pressure to be thin?  I’m going to be myself, a big guy, and celebrate my bigness.”

This response is entirely valid unless the decision to lose weight is based on legitimate health risks such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, joint/movement problems or a combination of these.  When a part of us knows it is time to make a change, and another part comes forward to discredit that knowledge, Emotional Freedom Techniques can help us to find a way forward.  Best of all, EFT can do so very gently.

Continue reading Emotional Freedom Techniques and the Permission to Begin

Early Trauma, Movement, and EFT

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

When infancy and early childhood are interrupted by sudden shocking experiences for which we cannot be prepared, the body often responds with profound stillness.  This freeze reaction is an expression of the Flight, Flight, Freeze Response built into the complex systems supporting human development.  Far from being a sign of failure, these automatic reactions to trauma are meant to protect us from experiences we are not yet ready to understand and resolve.

The long-term effects of the trauma induced Fight, Flight, Freeze Response include habits that do not serve our best interests as engaged and confident adults.  Because of their ability to negatively impact us emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually, these habits present us with the opportunity to learn and apply skills as we mature, skills to support the replacement of negative habits with positive ones.  While addressing our traumas once we have developed cognitive skills and body awareness can feel burdensome, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and its power to support the natural process of memory re-consolidation can lighten and even resolve the emotional challenges of early trauma.

Continue reading Early Trauma, Movement, and EFT

Judy Rebick, Early Childhood Trauma, and Telling Our Stories

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

If you are Canadian and a Boomer, or a feminist of any nationality, you know the name Judy Rebick.  She has been at the forefront of humanitarian causes since the 1970s, and her fearlessness as an advocate and activist is legendary.  She championed Dr. Henry Morgentaler and Dr. Robert Scott when The Morgentaler Clinic was under assault from extremists in the Right to Life movement.  She also advocated for deaf-culture individuals and agencies and for labour unions threatened by NAFTA.   The author of several books, her new memoir, Heroes in My Head, is a must read for anyone concerned with early childhood trauma, it’s long-term health and relationship effects, and its profound power to unleash the protective genius of a child experiencing assault.

Continue reading Judy Rebick, Early Childhood Trauma, and Telling Our Stories

Emotional Freedom Techniques, ACEs, and Loving Kindness

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support, and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane (802) 533-9277 / jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

Bowing our heads to say a prayer for the world has fallen out of fashion, at least among the most vociferously expressive of our current-events chroniclers.  Sadly, in these times of emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual overload, the most common form of communication is the reactive rant.  Like a virus, the emotions of fear and grief fueling verbal assaults – those we see among leaders in news and those we see among family and friends and co-workers – cannot help but infect us, especially if we are working through the residual effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE). Continue reading Emotional Freedom Techniques, ACEs, and Loving Kindness

Making Change in Later Life

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment emotional support and learn how to build emotional resilience, contact Jane (802) 533-9277 / jane@winterblooms.net.  Visit www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT can support the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, inform more loving and respectful relationships, and empower practitioners to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

Making change is often challenging, especially when people we love and respect express intense emotions about our choice to change.  Making change in our fifties, sixties, seventies and beyond can attract even more criticism from loved ones and friends because of their strong attachment to who they think we should be and what they think we should be doing.  Because we live in an ageist culture, limiting expectations often form unconsciously around us as we age, and while these limiting beliefs may be intended to support our well being and safety, they often act as gatekeepers, ensuring we make minimal changes, even positive ones.

Since most of us tend to define ourselves through our relationships, changes, especially those we make to support our health and personal fulfillment can feel like an attack on friends’ and family members’ choices. Happily, the desire to make change in later life often comes with its own “this-is-absolutely-right-for-me” imperative.  This means disapproval from adult children, intimate partners, close friends, and even our wellness team members cannot impugn the inner guidance prompting us to change.   If we avoid making changes simply to please or comfort others who may be living from fear rather than love, we threaten our own authenticity.  When this happens, the body will complain loudly about this betrayal, through pain, anxiety, sleeplessness, or all three.

Supporting mature clients who want to make changes that may not be approved of by family and friends is one of the most rewarding aspects of my coaching practice.  The road newly taken is not always smooth, but it is full to the brim with learning opportunities and positive growth.  Those of us called to make big changes in our later years can do so with relative ease when we follow a few simple guidelines.

Continue reading Making Change in Later Life

EFT and Teaching Longevity

 

Those of us called to teach, who flush with the pleasure of a student’s hard won insight or accomplishment and who do all we can to stay true to our purpose to lift and to launch others into the magic of new knowledge, new skills, and new relationships, are often shocked to feel our passion for work we believe in unequivocally drain away.  And yet this ebbing of passion happens, these days more than ever before, even among the most committed teachers.  We often learn the hard way that powering through the pain we feel on our students’ behalf can lead to Compassion Fatigue so debilitating we feel forced to leave rather than further our relationship with teaching and learning.  Happily, there is now an effective remedy for teachers’ professional exhaustion.

Continue reading EFT and Teaching Longevity