Nightbitch, the Wildness Archetype, and Rewriting the Doom Stories

In 1989, Clarissa Pinkola Estes gave us Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype. In 2021, Rachel Yoder gave us Nightbitch, a novel about one woman’s personal transformation into wholeness through her instinctual nature. I’m compelled to write this blog post because of a brief description of Marielle Heller’s film version of Rachel Yoder’s novel. The reviewer said only that the film Nightbitch is about how motherhood turns a woman into a dog.

As true as it is on the surface, to leave potential viewers and readers with this reductionist assessment is failing to understand both the novel’s and the film’s value. It is too easy to look away from Amy Adams as she morphs into this strange creature because the enchantment glamour creating our attraction to artificial beauty robs us of our experience of wildness. This glamour – more active in our culture since the spread of TV and all the screens to follow – also creates the illusion that we have no need for wildness, that it is gross and unnecessary.

Yet our loss of wildness is no small thing. It is the reason behind our undeniable climate crises. Lost wildness has also made our election of authoritarian strong men propped up by human fear possible all over our shared Earth Home. These murderous bullies have no relationship with the greater-than-human world beyond the intention to dominate it, to extract whatever they value, and to leave the rest, thinking they can rocket to Mars or the Moon and begin their exploitive, extractive ruthlessness once again. Some are creating schemes to replace wildness with a technological killing machine composed of so many seemingly unrelated parts it makes the Hydra of ancient times nothing but a silly creature easily outsmarted by Hercules and his nephew. Hercules is another strong-man-saviour myth popularized first by Greeks, who called him Heracles, and Romans, and then by North American culture’s cartoons and films.

When I first began this post, I explored my understanding of the human wildness archetypes as they manifest in human life. I began with scholarly examples because the defensive part of me needed to prove the absolute necessity of wildness in our lives. I’ve worked through that urge. This blog post is for people who already know how our relationships within the greater-than-human web are indispensable to our humanness, to our true nature. We cannot simply watch the world burn, and flood, and freeze, and bake when we have had our own experiences of wildness. Climate crises are personal to us; we know we – humans – have brought these climate crises on through our collective actions and our collusion with the corporations who have been saying since their inception “Hey, we’re here to make your lives better, more convenient, more . . . glamorous.”

When I was young and living in Windsor, teaching and doing what I could to make sense of an increasingly fractured world, a friend gave me a cartoon from the Detroit Free Press. I can’t remember the name of the cartoon, but in my memory, the sequence of pictures goes like this. First the character is sitting outside feeling beyond solace. Then she lies down and looks up at the sky. Then she rolls over and rests her cheek against the grass. Then she “tickles” the ground. When a flower springs up, her face radiates joy. The last panel says “You’re never lonely when Mother Nature loves you.” Now, looking back, I think I knew even then that was only a half truth. The corollary is also true: “You’re never lonely when you love Mother/Father Nature.”

Because of early circumstances that placed me in the greater-than-human world as a distressed toddler, I learned very early that Nature – a being I sensed even then to be all genders, species, and elements – loved and soothed me as the humans in my life could not. As a young adult feeling more and more enraged at the industrialized world’s destruction of the harmonies I’d been loving and being loved by for decades, I was surprised to learn many others didn’t share this experience. In fact, they thought my preoccupations with, value of, and respect for the world of dirt and water, growth and decay, weird.

It is weird, but only because the tech companies have all the media outlets through which to spread their authoritarian, strong-man, saviour myths. The only antidote I know for this endlessly cresting wave of false information is to build a raft of stories that remind us of the value of the wildness in the world, that power beyond human domination, stories like Nightbitch that remind us of the wildness in us, even when we smother it with cultural expectations and fear.

Read or see Nightbitch and draw your own conclusions about how motherhood became a catalyst for the artist-hero’s return to authenticity, to full flowering and fruit bearing, to wholeness. Yes, it’s story about a woman turning into a dog. And it’s a story about how our mammalian instinctive nature returns us to the night air that is the remedy for technology, to the fields of loam and possibility that are growing wildness all the time, to the forests of terror and joy beyond any device a human dreamed up and wants in our hands.

And if you need more stories about wildness and the value of the greater-than-human world, read Thomas Hardy, Elizabeth Gaskell, and all the current writers of fiction who are creating a path through the horrors of technological industrializing strong-man domination to roots literal and figurative pulsing with life. Walk in a forest or wood and feel the truth. Nature does not belong to us. We belong to and within the great web of life that is defeating technology and its worshipers through the raging storms unbridled technological manufacturing creates. Let us align with this massive power, let us take action. Let us feel the anguish of loss. Let our losses galvanize us to action to protect the world’s wildness and our own.

Until next time,

Jane

NO MORE! The Religiously Motivated Decisions of Patriarchy & the Infantilization of Girls & Women

In my seventies now, I remember the joy of celebrating the Roe v Wade decision that US girls and women had the legal right to choose what happened to their bodies.  It was no small thing then, to Canadian girls and women, because we all share the traumatizing fact of our past as chattel, that is, the possessions of white men and boys in charge.  Corporations had already determined to treat girls and women as bubble heads who wanted nothing more than to look good and be more popular than others.  It was very much a case of the water temperature being turned up over time – suddenly, we found ourselves boiling in the murky idea that our body image and looks, our hair and our rumps, were more important than our minds and our spirits, our hearts and our self-determination. That 1973 court decision lessened the impact of profit motivated businesses selling insecurity and self-hatred to girls and women. At least the courts found us intelligent, responsible, and wise enough to decide a fundamental life choice for ourselves.

Now,  even corporations are reacting to the court’s decision to reverse R v W; that’s how bad this current court’s decision is.  The white supremist view that the ever-creative power of the Universe is white, male, and murderous toward those who haven’t swallowed this vile white supremacy lie has revealed itself in the highest court in the land.  And we’re not having it.

Continue reading NO MORE! The Religiously Motivated Decisions of Patriarchy & the Infantilization of Girls & Women

Inspiration for when Father’s Day Triggers Fear, Rage, and Grief

Stephanie Foo’s What My Bones Know is the third memoir I’ve read in the last couple of years that has prompted meditations on my own father losses.  Foo’s father was present during some of her childhood, but neglectful of her need for protection from her violent and unpredictable mother during her earliest years.  When she was a young teen, her father left her alone in the family home to complete high school and navigate the college application gauntlet, with money – evidence of the reductionist belief that fathers are providers of cash but little else – but without any parental support.  Because her mother had abandoned her earlier, throughout her pivotal teen years Foo was without emotional comfort, intellectual guidance, and consistent, loving parenting.

Continue reading Inspiration for when Father’s Day Triggers Fear, Rage, and Grief

Building Bridges Through Loss: Three/Aging, Vulnerability, and Activism

My lovely mouser, Prince Meadowlark, who has been with me for sixteen years, recently reminded me of aging’s toll on the four-leggeds of the world.  I’m used to thinking about the human experience of aging, ageism, and vulnerability, but his current challenges with sight and mobility remind me that animals too experience the erosion of strength and sensory acuity that leads to feelings of helplessness. Animals, however, require our expanded sensitivity to their well being and suffering.  Beyond a plaintive meow, this wonderful companion cannot describe his fears, his heartaches, his frustrations over the circumstances robbing him of agency, and so, as his designated person, it is on me to interpret his needs, to meet these as best I can, and to comfort him when his experiences prove frustrating.

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Waiting . . . and EFT

In our highly monetized consumer culture, many have become accustomed to instant gratification.  ‘Trusting the process,’ a highly valuable attitude when involved in creative projects and problem solving, has been lost when dealing with everyday frustrations.  We’re encouraged to be the ‘right-now’ culture, whether we’re young, middle-aged or old.  In this world of constant promotions and immediate-gratification demands, we have misplaced something essential to our humanness:  our delight in free time. Continue reading Waiting . . . and EFT

Partnership Culture – Part Two

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the ACEP website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

in my last post I wrote about creating a partnership culture, beginning with the most important partnership, the one with the Self.  Cultivating this primary relationship creates authenticity, a quality that makes living meaningful and, through meaning, helps us to develop the resilience we need to meet and integrate life’s inevitable tragedies.  Unfortunately, not only do we lack training for creating a partnership with the self, we are taught to devalue this relationship and instead place our faith in superficial popular-culture values to create a happy life.  Many learn, through the pain of addiction and depression, that the popular culture values driven by materialism cannot help us to craft meaningful, authentic lives; in fact, they can hurt us.  What can help us to create the lives we want is to listen to the guidance we receive from our emotions, guidance that helps us to understand and embrace our needs, our strengths, and our values.  Last week I wrote about using tapping to discover our needs and strengths.  This week, I want to explore how tapping can help us to discover our values.

Continue reading Partnership Culture – Part Two

Creating a Partnership Culture

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist.  To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the ACEP website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane for EFT coaching support.

When Riane Eisler’s The Chalice and The Blade was first published almost thirty years ago, the feminist revolution had already taken hold of many of Earth’s Sixties Children and imbued us with optimism concerning our ability to create a socially just world.  Cynics called our vision ridiculous as they made passionate arguments about innate human violence and stupidity.  But those of us schooled in Eisler’s Chalice vision felt called to forge a new way of being in the world, something she called The Partnership Way.  Partnerships, she illustrated vividly, were the antidote to the Dominator model we call patriarchy (learn more about Eisler’s Partnership Way studies at http://www.partnershipway.org/.)  Power With rather than Power Over became our focus, and no matter our backgrounds and talents, we took this model to our homes, to our workplaces, and to our streets.  Since first reading Chalice, I have countless times experienced the transforming powers of a Partnership focus; in my home, in my classrooms, in my workshops, and in my coaching sessions, I have found partnering with others brings the deepest satisfaction and the most exciting results.  Tapping has increased my insights into the value of a Partnership focus, since this tool supports my first and foremost partnership, the one I have with myself.

Continue reading Creating a Partnership Culture