vulnerability – Winter Blooms

Building Bridges Through Loss: Three/Aging, Vulnerability, and Activism

My lovely mouser, Prince Meadowlark, who has been with me for sixteen years, recently reminded me of aging’s toll on the four-leggeds of the world. I’m used to thinking about the human experience of aging, ageism, and vulnerability, but his current challenges with sight and mobility remind me that animals too experience the erosion of strength and sensory acuity that leads to feelings of helplessness. Animals, however, require our expanded sensitivity to their well being and suffering. Beyond a plaintive meow, this wonderful companion cannot describe his fears, his heartaches, his frustrations over the circumstances robbing him of agency, and so, as his designated person, it is on me to interpret his needs, to meet these as best I can, and to comfort him when his experiences prove frustrating.

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Voicelessness and Sexual Assault

Please Note: Winter Blooms is an educational website in no way meant to replace building a relationship with a trained EFT practitioner, counselor, or therapist. To find an EFT Practitioner, visit the AAMET website, the Gary Craig website, the EFT Universe website, the Tapping Solution website, or contact Jane at 802-533-9277 or jane@winterblooms.net for EFT coaching support.

Last week, in the post on sexual assault’s afterlife, I touched on my grandmother’s vocal response to the event along with my own inability to make a sound during the assault. It is easy to assume a four-year-old child is unable to confront a sexual predator, but this is not always the case. Some children scream, cry, and fight physically, while others, like me, manifest sudden voicelessness and physical paralysis. This is the manifestation of the Freeze aspect of the the Fight, Flight, or Freeze Stress Response. During sudden trauma, we sometimes fight, we sometimes take flight, and, as happened to me, we sometimes freeze. Daily tapping, along with healthy sleep habits, eating habits, thinking habits, physical movement habits, meditation habits, and social habits, can build resilience into our lives that helps the Stress Response do the work it is meant to do – protect us from actual danger.

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After Sexual Assault

Of all the challenges I deal with personally and professionally, none requires more sensitivity than sexual assault. For most survivors just saying the term, or the more common word, rape, sets in motion a physiological chain reaction that often feels like someone’s fingers are probing around in our guts. In survivors, this subject can trigger feelings of threat, of vulnerability, of shame, and – at the same time – of agency, of empowerment, and of triumph. We can be terrified and in one and the same moment have the courage to speak out in order to honour our determination to heal and to support others in their healing. We can rage against those who would blame us for the criminal acts of others and at the same time be calm enough to speak our truth, end the silence around these vicious crimes, and create community with others who feel vulnerable and ashamed and at the same time empowered to speak out against sexual predation and its coverups.

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When Hate Just Won’t Go Away

People who use tapping regularly are often pleasantly surprised by a growing sense of equanimity and peace. Petty annoyances disappear, strong negative reactions dissipate, and flashes of anger or fear over crossed boundaries diminish. Gary Craig’s name for tapping, Emotional Freedom Techniques, says it all. Daily practice that goes deep to core issues really does free us from debilitating negative emotions. Sometimes, however, the process of freeing ourselves from such emotions takes time, patience, great detective work, and intuitive leaps to uncover the core issues associated with these emotions.

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